Bravely Bleeding: A Story of Survival, Identity, and Second Chances with Kris Corbett

Jean Tillery [: 00:00:05

A few years ago, I learned something that I wish no one ever had to learn. When someone that you love faces a serious brain injury, illness, or medical crisis, life changes overnight. Suddenly, you're measuring time differently. You're watching monitors, learning new vocabulary, waiting for test results, wondering what tomorrow might bring. Then, even after the crisis passes, something stays with you. You learn what it feels like to live in uncertainty. You learn what it feels like to keep showing up even when you're scared. Today's guest knows that feeling well.

Jean Tillery [: 00:00:49

Chris Corbett is a nurse, basketball coach, poet, author, mother of four, and someone who spent more than two decades living with a neurological condition that affected nearly every part of her life. She endured seizures, brain hemorrhages, two brain surgeries, years of uncertainty, and the constant weight of wondering what might happen next. But this isn't a story about illness. It's a story about resilience. It's a story about refusing to become a victim of your circumstances. And it's a story about discovering who you are when life gives you a second chance. So grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and let's hear Chris's epic story. So we'll start over again.

Jean Tillery [: 00:01:41

Welcome. It's so great to finally actually have a conversation with you. We were just mentioning a minute ago about how our first try at this interview didn't really work out and proceeded to go on with the conversation about the little idiosyncrasies of life that tend to get us down. So before we jump back into that conversation, go ahead and introduce yourself. I'm really excited about this today.

Kris Corbett [: 00:02:08

Yeah. Thanks, Jean, for having me. I'm Christine Corbett. Well, I go by Chris Corbett and I am a registered nurse, a basketball coach, a poet, an author, and most importantly, really what has transformed my life is overcoming a significant neurological condition and getting through two brain surgeries and carrying on and creating a life better than I could have ever imagined, really.

Jean Tillery [: 00:02:38

I think the thing that attracted to me, attracted you to me from the get go even before I really understood the health issues. And we'll get into that in a minute. But nurse, coach, author, writer, those are three things that you don't usually necessarily see together. But I love that about when I find that with people that are just kind of open to all these different parts that they could go into and embracing that. So tell me how some of that came about.

Kris Corbett [: 00:03:15

Yeah, I know. It is a unique combination. Right. So I kind of take it back to, you know, I had really amazing teachers and creative writing. I remember going back to probably third grade. It felt like, such a. Such an outlet for me. And those teachers really invested in me and made me.

Kris Corbett [: 00:03:37

Made me so much better. And, you know, just carried that on with me throughout life. Nothing published until recently, but I always dabbled in it. It was a good space for me just to get away from real life sometimes. And second to that were many of my coaches who really invested in sports was another outlet. And I really looked up to them because for me, as an athlete, I was the kind of kid who sometimes needed to get angry. And the coaches that knew that were the best for me because they get in my face and hold me accountable. I can't really get away with that too much now.

Kris Corbett [: 00:04:19

Maybe in. Maybe in college, but back then, it started young, and it really made me strong and aggressive on the court or the field. And that's where another outlet came for me. And then in regard to nursing. And then, of course, you know, you reach the age where you can't play anymore. So coaching feels like a natural transition. And being a mother of four, I just. I really do.

Kris Corbett [: 00:04:46

I love to watch kids grow and develop and find what they love. And so that was the natural transition for me. And in nursing, I resisted for a long time. I tried many other. I tried hard to enter many other career paths in my mind, but was always drawn back to nursing because I come from a family of. I think half of my family at some point worked in a hospital. So it was like I knew I was naturally inclined to do that, but for whatever reason, I was like, nope, not. I'm going a different way.

Kris Corbett [: 00:05:25

But I, I. In my book, I talk about how I think it was, like, genetically coded in man. For as hard as I tried to resist it, I just, you know, that's where I ended up, and I'm grateful for that. It's been a really rewarding career for as difficult as it can be sometimes.

Jean Tillery [: 00:05:43

Yeah, well. And when you look at kind of a view, looking down at everything, they really do fit together. I mean, you know, a lot of writing is, you know, teaching, you know, whether it's just even, you know, fiction. You know, you have a story to tell and you're telling it, and it's giving to other people. And, you know, nursing is giving and taking care of. And coaching fits right into that, too. You're nurturing and you're growing and you're taking care. So it seems to all fit.

Kris Corbett [: 00:06:19

It does. Like, when you first look at it, it does not. But when you think deeper, like, you just have it, it all. They're all pieces of the puzzle.

Jean Tillery [: 00:06:28

Yeah. And I love the coaching because I have, I run into the story all the time. I was born and raised in Texas, so football was always my thing.

Kris Corbett [: 00:06:39

Okay.

Jean Tillery [: 00:06:39

And I, I guess the summer before seventh grade, my, my father got promoted and he had to move to the headquarters of his company, which was in Richmond, Indiana. Yes. And now I live in Richmond, Virginia. Figure that out. But anyway, so we moved to Indiana.

Kris Corbett [: 00:06:54

I didn't even know there was a Richmond, Indiana. All right.

Jean Tillery [: 00:06:57

So I had, I, I didn't even know where Indiana was. I mean, I was so Texas that, I mean, you know, outside of Texas didn't really make any difference. But the biggest. Well, there's a lot of transition between, you know, a very. I was in Texas in the middle of the oil boom and housing up in the area that we lived in was brand new and I had almost every country in the world on our street. And then moved to, you know, this very small blue collar manufacturing town in Indiana, which I, I was excited about moving because I love, I love that starting over thing, even at that age. But I had no idea what we were getting into. And in Indiana, it's basketball.

Kris Corbett [: 00:07:48

That's right. I went to a high school right on the border of Illinois and Indiana.

Jean Tillery [: 00:07:52

So yes, it is, it's insane. Basketball, like Texas is insane. Football. And I never got it. I just didn't, I just didn't get it. And I mean it. We had, Our high school was very big, you know that I, as an adult, I see that they didn't really want to break up the basketball program. So we had this massive high school.

Jean Tillery [: 00:08:12

I think there was 800 in my graduating class. And we had a. Our high school basketball stadium was as big as anything that you'd see on a college campus. And literally Friday night games were crazy. And I remember my mom loved basketball and so she and my dad were at every game with all the parents and all the, you know, but I never, I never got it. So it's really cool that that's where you went into. And so I'm looking at basketball going, okay, well, you know, it is a viable sport, I guess, you know, and after having boys who grew up playing football, I realized that football is very dangerous. But then I watch basketball and I wonder whether that's any safer.

Jean Tillery [: 00:09:00

But as a female, how was basketball? Because I'm not sure what age you are, but you know, the girls sports when I was younger was not a big thing.

Kris Corbett [: 00:09:11

You know, it. And I like, I, I do watch the WNBA occasionally. I used to Be a bigger fan. But I don't know, there's too much drama. And you know, the reality is like, women always, you know, want equal pay for play, but the reality is that the, the men generate more money. So I, I never got into that. Oh, we, we like, I kind of just accepted. I love the game, I want to play the game and whoever shows up, great.

Kris Corbett [: 00:09:44

Who does this is for me. It was for me. And I don't, I don't. You know, women's sports has gotten tricky for many reasons and I'm glad I played when I did. Those days were a lot simpler.

Jean Tillery [: 00:09:59

Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 00:09:59

And you know, I, I do also believe now, especially for, for little kids, you're, you're forced to pick a sport sooner and specialize and then, you know, it becomes year round and again, simpler times. For me. I appreciated some breaks and being able to play other sports as well. And those times have changed and now programs cost thousands of dollars and you know, it's like, how do you, you know, lower income children get in the game then if, you know, these elite clubs are charging thousands of dollars per season. So I don't, I don't particularly care for the sports landscape at this time. And again, I just turned 50. It was, it was fun and simpler back when I played. And again, in my book I talk about how for me basketball was such an outlet because it was fast.

Kris Corbett [: 00:10:55

And you know, I describe it in, in one, one paragraph, I was like, I feel like I could like float and I'm not a dancer. Like, I have no rhythm. I've asked my sisters make so much fun of me, I just can't. So anyway, but basketball was that for me, I felt like I could like dance and float and fly. So I think a lot of athletes choose their sport based on many reasons that other people would never understand. You know, I, because I do feel like there is. Well, I can always see a creative outlet in anything or a creative connection or even spiritual sometimes really. And for me, basketball just let me feel free and, and I guess I can use the analogy of working in the operating room.

Kris Corbett [: 00:11:47

I think the best physicians also tie their profession to art. For instance, I worked in the OR with the woman I ultimately chose to be my obstetrician. And I knew I wanted her as soon as she said, anytime I do surgery, I just view it as doing ballet with my hands. And I was like, oh, that is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in this, like, messy, you know, I mean, we're in the middle of a surgery, so and then I hear this beautiful thing. And then my neurosurgeon in his book, he. He describes the OR as an orchestra because of all the sounds. You know, you get used to the clanking of instruments, the beeping, all that. So again, I just.

Kris Corbett [: 00:12:36

You can always tie something to art, I think, which I think is really beautiful. And you know, one of my daughters, she loves soccer. I was terrible at soccer, but I say she looks like a gazelle when she's running. Like, she's just so natural. She's supposed to be there.

Jean Tillery [: 00:12:54

Yeah, well, and I love that because that, that, you know, when I was, I mean, I was a gymnast from. I'm probably age 3, I think they probably needed to put me somewhere to get out all of my energy. But other than, you know, ballet and, and when I first started. Take. Started athletics, that's what it was. I mean, it was really kind of a general dance type thing. And I tended to. Towards the gymnastics because of the strength part of it.

Jean Tillery [: 00:13:27

I mean, I, I always wanted to be strong. And that's what gymnastics always was for me is. I mean, I could, you know, girls have a tendency of developing a little earlier than boys. So I was, I was lifting weights in ninth grade with my gym, with my gymnastics coach. Longer the guys that I knew were. And I was stronger and I was, you know, very limber and I could, my brain could do things. That was incredible. And I.

Jean Tillery [: 00:13:55

And I loved the, that feeling of just having so much control over the way my body moved. But we had gym class, so I sucked at basketball. The people's arms in my face was.

Kris Corbett [: 00:14:12

We all have our thing, right.

Jean Tillery [: 00:14:14

I played volleyball for a while, but for somebody who could move around a balance beam and dance on a balance beam, I couldn't get around a volleyball field to save my life. And I loved it because it was different, but I just. There was never, you know, I played tennis for a while, so. But gymnastics was always my thing. And I love how you kind of compare it to, you know, kind of an artistic endeavor because I think when people are passionate, whatever it is, they feel that that's kind of an artistry.

Kris Corbett [: 00:14:50

Yes.

Jean Tillery [: 00:14:50

In their life. And, you know, my husband is an avid fisherman and to watch him, you know, when he's out there is kind of the same thing. The way you move and the way you handle the casting and the pulling in and moving around a boat, if you're on a boat, I mean, it all has some kind of artistic thing to it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:15:09

It does. I believe that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:15:10

What makes you love something is you're kind of. That's your zone of genius. That artistic flow that you can get into, even though you wouldn't necessarily consider it being creative.

Kris Corbett [: 00:15:23

Right.

Jean Tillery [: 00:15:26

But kind of jumping back into that a second. There wasn't a lot available for girls when I was growing up. So I love the fact now that, you know, there's soccer and there's. What am I thinking? Cricket, lacrosse.

Kris Corbett [: 00:15:44

Girls are even playing. Yeah, Lacrosse, rugby. They're doing it all now, definitely. So I growing up in the Midwest because I grew up in Chicago. When I first moved out to the east coast, which was now 28 years ago, I was like, why is lacrosse? I never even knew what it was.

Jean Tillery [: 00:16:02

I didn't. I didn't either. So it's really exciting to see because I think that's a place that in my generation and before, girls weren't really encouraged to be athletic and. And you kind of stood out if that's where you were. And I think a lot of who I became as an adult was based on the fact that I was allowed to be strong as a girl.

Kris Corbett [: 00:16:31

Yeah, no, that makes sense, because after. After my last surgery, all of a sudden I wanted to learn how to box. And really, I didn't want to hit anyone. I didn't want to get hit. However, just being able to learn it and learn the movement and even learn how to defend myself created a feeling of inner strength that then helped me feel strong as a whole. So it was through sport again that I. I found strength. So I can relate to your gymnastics career because my brief stint in boxing with a very cool guy, a very kind man, it gave me that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:17:15

I love it. So let's transition then into the nursing. So what area. What kind of nursing do you do?

Kris Corbett [: 00:17:22

Well, now I work for public health agencies, so I'm out of clinical care, but I. You know, in nursing school, at least back in my day, your instructors always encouraged you to start off on a med surg unit. That foundation really prepares you for anything. And, you know, I was like, oh, no. Like, that's boring. I'm not interested in that. I'm going straight to trauma. That's like.

Kris Corbett [: 00:17:51

That's what I wanted to do. However, my. My health became so bad that I. My goal was to go work at shock trauma in Baltimore and then become a flight nurse. But I became so sick that that was just not going to be realistic. Wow. So I went into med surge, an ortho unit. And an ortho unit is never.

Kris Corbett [: 00:18:18

At least in my day, you get everything. So it was Great, great learning, really great learning. But I was like, what's the next closest thing to like feeling like I can be in a trauma or emergency like situation? Sometimes that's more controlled and, and so surgical nursing made sense to me. So after some time as a med surg. Nurse, I took a position in the or. And again, I loved it. I loved it so much. But part of my medical problem in the past was, were partial seizures.

Kris Corbett [: 00:18:59

Sometimes they've turned into generalized seizures. But I started, I wasn't trusting myself in the or. Once it started progressing and happening too frequently. I thought to myself, you know, if something really goes wrong, I mean, of course you have a surgeon and the anesthesiologist, but everybody plays a critical role in the OR if something were to

Jean Tillery [: 00:19:21

go in that orchestra.

Kris Corbett [: 00:19:23

Exactly, exactly. Like, I, I don't, I can't. Yeah, I, I was scared that I'd be putting a patient in jeopardy at some point and so I made. It was a really difficult decision. However, what happened was an opportunity where the federal public health agency opened and I went for it because it really involved health care, public health and writing. I would be able to merge all of them and like have a, the more stable quality of life. It wouldn't be so, you know, working in a hospital for anyone is just so demanding. And for me that physical toll was just, it wasn't going to work long term.

Kris Corbett [: 00:20:16

And so, you know, a desk job. I never, never saw that for me. But, but it, it was, it was really great. It was great transition because I still felt like I was carrying, well, I was carrying nursing with me just. And I got to use my words to do it. And interactions, you know, with scientists, patients, other healthcare providers like lawyers. It became, became really, really everything I could have asked for.

Jean Tillery [: 00:20:50

I love that something that is totally outside of your realm of possibility is something that you ended up not only graduating into, but ended up being so fulfilling for you and kind of checked so many boxes.

Kris Corbett [: 00:21:05

It did.

Jean Tillery [: 00:21:06

And it looks like leading into that you had a lot of experience in different areas that gives you a really great perspective in that role instead of just kind of having a, you know, straight path in that this is what I want to do. You have experience that's opening a lot of, you know, doors when you're dealing with public health that may, people may not be aware of. So I love these.

Kris Corbett [: 00:21:31

Typically in the area I, I entered, you typically don't find a lot of nurses. So I really did have an imposter syndrome going on for a little while. I was like I don't, I don't know if I fit with all these people like, most of whom had, have advanced degrees. And I'm like, you know, either. It's so unfortunate. I wish this wasn't even a thing. But, you know, sometimes you just still. At least I don't do it anymore.

Kris Corbett [: 00:21:59

But for a long time I'd say, well, I'm just a nurse. I don't, you know, I'm not a physician or you know, a advanced degree in biochemistry, etc, but I've gotten way over that because I, I learned my value pretty quickly there when I offered a viewpoint, that of a nurse to people who had never administered psychiatric meds intramuscularly. You know, so in an injection and you know, they were, in this particular meeting there was discussions of the administration method and I was like, you know, I was still timid at. Not timid, but still trying to figure out my place at the time. And I spoke up and I said, well, you know, not trying to offend anyone, however, I don't believe any of you have ever given this particular medication. And when this medication is required as a nurse, you are running, injecting and running away as fast as you can because it, it's such a chaotic scene. And, and they weren't thinking about that part. And, and that's when I learned.

Kris Corbett [: 00:23:17

I'm like, okay, my, my viewpoint in many of these situations will be valuable. But, and, and then it all. It was confirmed and I thrived. It's great.

Jean Tillery [: 00:23:31

Well, I love that. And you said something really powerful and I think everyone, especially women and even going back to the earlier conversation with girls is that you need to know your value. That's beautiful. And everybody struggles with that. I mean, we live in a world that always wants you to kind of prove that you're worth. And it's easy when you're kind of in someone else's world and looking at what they think is important to feel like you're not important. Yeah, I think the conversation really needs to be around, like you said, knowing your value and being strong enough in that understanding that no matter what room you walk in, you're able to, you know, put it out on the table and say, you know, this is what I bring and this is, you know, and I don't think it's a matter of having to be egotistical about it or anything like that. I think everyone has their own unique perspective.

Jean Tillery [: 00:24:32

And you, again, back to your three areas here. I mean, that's a really unique combination. And you're going to Be seeing things and have a perspective that a lot of people won't ever consider because of where you've been.

Kris Corbett [: 00:24:45

Yeah. And I use that especially to teach my own, my own children. Like you're, you're coming out. I think like everybody has such a unique perspective that you're, you're never not, you know, you're always going to be valuable. You may not think you are, but your perspective and your training, it's always going to make you, you an important part of that room.

Jean Tillery [: 00:25:07

I love it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:25:08

So I want, I want younger people to learn that. Younger than I did.

Jean Tillery [: 00:25:12

Well, and, and I'm, I'm a big fan believer that too because I mean, I was in some areas of my life, I did really well with it and, but not at all. And you know, you walk into a different room and sometimes it's hard to remember that and then, you know, it is and you think, how can I, how can I be one way and then in one room, in another way, in another room? And it really. And I don't know that we could ever really teach everyone who's younger that, because I think part of it is just living life.

Kris Corbett [: 00:25:47

Living. Yes.

Jean Tillery [: 00:25:50

But I think the world needs to be reminded that their story matters no matter who they are. And no matter what you're trying to do, you matter. And I love. We talked about the orchestra in an OR room. One of the analogies that I use a lot is that, you know, the world is like a tapestry and each of us are, you know, one thread in that tapestry. And whatever beautiful picture is there, if your thread is gone, then there's something missing.

Kris Corbett [: 00:26:23

Definitely. I love that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:26:25

And, and you know, and, and when you flip it over and you look at the back, it's just one big jumbled mess and you can't see anything

Kris Corbett [: 00:26:32

chaotic that like cross point, it looks beautiful on the front. All these cute little flowers. You flip it over, all the threads are popping out.

Jean Tillery [: 00:26:40

And I think people have a tendency of looking at the back in life and not really looking at the front and realizing together how beautiful everything is.

Kris Corbett [: 00:26:49

So I know I used to say how boring if we were all alike? You know, that's how I, at least I try to get younger people to embrace themselves and their own uniqueness. I just say, like, how boring would it be if we're all alike? You don't have to feel fit in and have all the things that, that are trending right now. I mean, I know that's part of, you know, just going through the preteen and teenage Years that, you know, everybody wants to fit in, but I think it. It's boring if everyone's alike. I don't want to be in that room. I want to be in a room of. Of different, unique people.

Jean Tillery [: 00:27:27

Well, and. And I agree. I agree so much. And. And I always joke about the fact that, you know, I will admit that I'm weird and I embrace that, and I love it because that's, you know, how I want to view the world, and I want to be able to see everybody for their unique, awesome weirdness again. Not only is it, you know, kind of sad if people feel like they have to be like everybody else, but in my mind, in order to have, again, this whole. Back to the analogy of the tapestry, we can't be every thread. There's just no way that we could do that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:28:05

So if I look at everything that has to happen in a day in my house, if I have to do everything, there's just no way. But I have my strength. I love to cook. I love to cook. Feeding people is my love language.

Kris Corbett [: 00:28:19

I love that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:28:20

And I have a lot of clients, and I have clients and I have friends that do not like to cook. So it brings me joy to be able to bring them food that's really nice. And so, you know, but they have their strength. I mean, one of my best friends who I feed all the time is an incredible artist, and she gives me these beautiful, you know, paintings, and she does a little painting every single day with the Bible verse on it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:28:44

That's great.

Jean Tillery [: 00:28:45

So that's her thing. I could never do that. And we actually started taking art classes together years ago, and she turned into this amazing.

Kris Corbett [: 00:28:52

She's thrived and I sucked.

Jean Tillery [: 00:28:54

So, you know, I don't want to. I don't want the responsibility of having to be good at everything.

Kris Corbett [: 00:29:00

Yeah, no, that. That's a very good point to bring up because, yeah, I think particularly women were stretched in so many directions that you do feel like you have to be good at everything. And, man, that's exhausting. It is exhausting. You can't do it. Don't even try.

Jean Tillery [: 00:29:19

Yeah. And. And then again, you know, it's easy for us to. To appreciate the brilliance of other people, but not necessarily the brilliance of ourselves. So when. If you can really get to the point where you realize that we all need each other, it's a lot easier to say, okay, this is my area. This is what I'm going to be brilliant at. And I don't have to be everything to everybody all the time because this is where I thrive.

Kris Corbett [: 00:29:47

And there's such a freedom to that, you know, I mean, once you get there, it's like, all right,

Jean Tillery [: 00:29:56

so we touched upon it in three or four different kind of circles around our conversation. Let's get into the health area. I'm fascinated by your story, what little of it that I know. So I can't wait to learn more. My husband had a brain incident also, so I'm always fascinated to have those conversations about that because that is an area that I knew nothing about.

Kris Corbett [: 00:30:27

Yeah, you are often thrown into that

Jean Tillery [: 00:30:30

and yes, very much, definitely. And now I'm fascinated by how our brain works and everything that it does. So kind of give us a little background on what happened and let's dive into that.

Kris Corbett [: 00:30:43

Yeah, I'll, I'll open with, you know, ever since I, I published the book, I've met so many people, you know, just yet brain related patients are caregivers. And it's been incredible to hear and share stories. And mine began with. I was 22 and I had just moved up to Maryland and I returned back to Chicago for Christmas. And the day after Christmas I woke up with stroke like symptoms. But at the age 22, I didn't know that I was it really as the day evolved and my mom, she was a secretary in an emergency room and my stepdad, Chicago paramedic. So as the day went on and I'm like describing these symptoms, they're like, okay, you know, we should get this checked out. And so several hours later, I learned that I had a brain lesion.

Kris Corbett [: 00:31:46

And I thought, like, how weird. I just, I just moved out. I'm like kind of, you know, starting my life anew. And here I am with this new twist. And so I was transferred to a hospital that could specialize in investigating further what was going on. Because, you know, CT CAT scan will just tell you, you know, there's something there. But yeah, had to figure out what it was. And so it turns out that I do.

Kris Corbett [: 00:32:16

It's congenital. I had a cavernous malformation and it's like a tangle raspberry like structure of veins. They're just, they're, they don't form properly. And you can have the genetic variation or you can have the sporadic and minus sporadic. And sometimes people have these and just never even know they don't become symptomatic. But I obviously became symptomatic and you know, so I, I returned to Maryland and just established a relationship with a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, just to, for my Annual monitoring, and I was stable for five years. So I just kind of felt like, okay, one and done, I'll carry on. And.

Kris Corbett [: 00:33:05

Yeah, I originally got a bachelor's degree in psychology and was, you know, invited to, to study at the graduate program at my college. And, you know, I look back and like, maybe things would have been different had I done that, but, you know, no regrets. So I, I chose nursing. Later, as I mentioned in the opening, I really tried to avoid it. Um, but eventually I decided to go back to nursing school. And so I was almost finished with the first year and had a massive seizure. And. And then they discovered there was another hemorrhage.

Kris Corbett [: 00:33:51

And so that's when my neur. Neurosurgeon decided it was time to operate. And so here, when you're 22, I, I was not scared. I was like, like, no. When I had to go through it again, I had a family, my kids. It was a much different scenario. But back then I was like, what? Okay? I'm like, well, can we wait until the semester's over? I just, I really want to finish up. And I think most people thought I was crazy.

Kris Corbett [: 00:34:25

Like, why, why wouldn't you just take care of this? But he, he's so wonderful. He's like, yes, of course. You know, unless something changes, you're going to be stable enough. Just finish out the semester and we'll, we'll do the surgery like the following week, which is what we did. And unfortunately at the time, my, my malformation was too deep within the brain to, to get to it safely. So about five and a half hours into that operation, he, thankfully, still so grateful to this day, decided to stop because I would have left sided, particularly my hand paralysis. And how can you be a nurse with it? I mean, I could have figured out something, I'm sure, but it would have been very difficult to finish school and, you know, carry on with clinical nursing had I lost function of a hand. So to this day, I love him for stopping because, you know, some surgeons, they like to push the limits and he's just so humble and loving.

Kris Corbett [: 00:35:39

And he stopped. And we tried other things, but, you know, by that time the damage had already been done and the seizures were just like front and center. But, you know, I refused to let that stop me. And that's a huge part of my story too. I would not ever allow myself to feel like or be labeled as a victim of anything. And that's what kept me strong. Because, you know, I'm not judging people who kind of fall into this Space because, you know, is hard to fight day after day, not feeling like you're beaten down or like, you know, it's just not going to work out. You can easily get there, but I.

Kris Corbett [: 00:36:22

I refused to go there. So I just carried on and created the best life I could and. And did. And just, you know, it was my silent struggle. No one knew how bad it was, but was. It was very difficult between seizures and like, a headache that would never stop and just exhaustion from both and anxiety from. Like, I always have to, like, plan if, you know, if something were to happen. I always had a plan, like, yeah, where are the kids? Were.

Kris Corbett [: 00:36:55

What are we doing? Like, I spent so much time just, like, planning for a crisis, which is kind of. Yeah. But that's how I was living life. Like, planning for crises. And, and so, you know, 2020, it got really bad. Another hemorrhage. Seizure. Seizures were becoming even more frequent.

Jean Tillery [: 00:37:21

And now when you say more frequent, are you. I mean, was it weekly? Daily? Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 00:37:27

Partial seizures, which would just affect my hand and face. I wouldn't lose consciousness. It didn't interrupt life, but it could happen up to 10 times a day. And it would make my head ache worse and just disrupt my thought and my flow and particular work. I'd have to, like, reread an entire, you know, five paragraphs just because I now that it affected me cognitively. Well, maybe it did, but I don't feel like it did. Nonetheless, I. I had to go back and restart and so, and, you know, put on a smile when I felt like, you know, I.

Kris Corbett [: 00:38:04

I probably could have been better at telling people what was going on, but I think I learned hyper independence at a very young age. So I didn't want to give that to people. I kept it inside. And 2020 is when I was like, okay, like, I, I need this fixed or I don't. I don't know how long I can do this. Like, I really thought I was just like, on a fast train to death. And it was really sad because, like, I never wanted to give up because I. I couldn't.

Kris Corbett [: 00:38:40

I had a family and I used when, like my youngest set of twins on their birthday, when they'd blow out their candles and I write about it. Like, I knew they'd be making their wishes, and my wish was always like, a calculation like, okay, if I can stay alive this many years, they'll be this age and, you know, everybody will be set in their own path and it'll be okay. I can't go before then, but in 2020, it started becoming more and more difficult. I was like, I don't think I'm gonna make it. And then. And then I. You know, I'm always good at flipping the switch when I have that kind of a thought. I might sit with it for a little while, but I'm like, this is not.

Kris Corbett [: 00:39:24

This is not taking me down. So I knew my. My first neurosurgeon had moved to Saudi Arabia to start a joint program over there with Johns Hopkins. And so I started, like, stalking him. I'm like, I don't care. I'll fly to Saudi Arabia if I have to, to find him. I guess it's not. I'm not going down yet.

Jean Tillery [: 00:39:46

Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 00:39:46

And I couldn't. Couldn't reach him, couldn't find him. It was strange. And he's like, he. He was so well known in this area. I'm like, how can I just now find an email address? So anyway, I almost gave up, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna try Baltimore office one more time. And this lady, she picked up, and it was this former secretary. He had just moved back to Maryland, and the timing, it was miraculous.

Kris Corbett [: 00:40:18

And he. You know, he's like, well, I'm no longer operating. However, I think we need to. You need to consider surgery again. And I have two options for you. It's like. And, you know, I wouldn't send you to anybody about the best. So you just meet with both of them.

Kris Corbett [: 00:40:37

And he knew me so well by that point. He's like, just feel how you feel with both of them and decide which one feels better. And so I met with someone locally and did not knew immediately he was not. Not the one. And then I met with the one who did my last surgery, and he immediately I knew. I was like, this is the guy. He's gonna change my life. I knew it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:41:05

I mean, I still had doubts because, you know, at that point, I was just so scared that, you know, it was too late, perhaps. But. But he did his Dr. Q. He's at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. And he. Interestingly enough, I learned afterwards. So they do now they were able to access it more easily this time because of mapping.

Kris Corbett [: 00:41:33

They do brain mapping, so they know your brain so well before they're going in. And. And interestingly enough, he told me that he changed his mind at, like, I believe, like, last minutes prior to going in or. Or maybe even starting. He decided to go in a different way. And he did, and he got it out, and he cleaned up everything. And here I am to tell this story. But what's interesting about brain surgery, at least in my case, both of them were awake craniotomies.

Kris Corbett [: 00:42:11

So there are parts of both surgeries that I remember very well. And that is like a sci fi movie in and of itself when you.

Jean Tillery [: 00:42:21

I can't even imagine.

Kris Corbett [: 00:42:23

It's so bizarre. It's so bizarre. Oh my God.

Jean Tillery [: 00:42:28

Wow. I'll have to sit on that one for a while because.

Kris Corbett [: 00:42:30

Yeah, I mean, thankfully you're deep under your out when they're opening and closing because I, I don't think, I don't think there's a human capacity to be awake while managing that. So, yeah, it's. Once they do that, the get in that, that you're brought back to a state of awareness.

Jean Tillery [: 00:42:52

Now what is their explanation for doing it that way?

Kris Corbett [: 00:42:58

So that they can test whatever area of your brain is most likely to be affected. So for me, they were continuously monitoring my motor ability, my language abilities. So there's a neurologist, mine, David Sebich, Dr. Sebich, he, he is an incredible man. He's a neuropsychologist and he does the, the, the testing while the surgeon is operating. So I'd have to respond to motor commands, verbal comm, identifying music patterns, like all these things when you're being operated on. And it's really fascinating, but there came a point at which I said, I remember so this so distinctly. But I, I don't really know why I said it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:43:58

I suspect I know, but I said I, like in the middle of it, everything was going well. I was like, I don't think I can do this anymore. And it's like, what do you mean? You're doing great? You know, here's such a great cheerleader. And I said to him, I don't know, but I think on the inside I was like, if this isn't going to work, I don't want to wake up. You know, it just felt. There was a moment during the surgery, it felt that heavy, like I can't wake up from this and be in the same state. I can't.

Jean Tillery [: 00:44:37

Yeah, well, thankfully I wasn't. It's interesting because I, I had a, I had an idea, you know, after going through what my husband went through, of why they did that surgery that way. And I just wanted you to, to hear your input. And so I remember with Dan, they had to be very careful with pain meds because they're like on, we need to, you know, I mean, four times a day they'd come in and do a neuro check. And they'd ask him, you know, what's your name? Where are you? What gang is it? Who's the president? And it was funny. We were in the ICU with him for 32 days, and ups and downs, and ups and downs between things happening and we're not sure what's going on and changes all the time. But that was always consistent. We had to know where you were.

Jean Tillery [: 00:45:25

And with the pain medicine, their concern was, you know, if he starts kind of numbing out, is that from the pain medicine?

Kris Corbett [: 00:45:33

Oh, right.

Jean Tillery [: 00:45:34

Or is that because we're starting to lose him again? So I. I had never. You know, in your mind, you think, okay, something hurts, we either fix it, we take something so it doesn't hurt. And that in medicine, especially when you're looking at your brain, that's not necessarily the way it works. And in your case, yes, you know, there's something in there. It's not like you've got a, you know, a hangnail or something. We could just go in and fix it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:46:01

Right. Right.

Jean Tillery [: 00:46:02

You. You have to make sure that we're not doing more damage.

Kris Corbett [: 00:46:05

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 00:46:06

As we're in there, and that, you know, that we're doing what's going to be best for you. So that just is amazing. And I can imagine how difficult that was to be in the middle of that, you know, because you deal with being sick and being scared and, you know, having, you know, somebody rummaging around in your brain. There's so many things that you're dealing with at one time. I can imagine how overwhelming.

Kris Corbett [: 00:46:35

Yeah. And the first one, like I said, wasn't so much, but the second one is because I knew I had responsibility. You know, I was already. I have four little people to, you know, take care of, and my spouse is great. But, you know, it. I. That's why it became such a conflict. I'm like, I can't live this way any longer, but I can't.

Kris Corbett [: 00:46:59

Can't not be with them. And so I knew, like, again, to always. I know people sometimes probably get sick of basketball and me. But at the end of the surgery, and I didn't remember until much later that David told me that it was successful, that Dr. Cube had gotten it all and that it was gonna. And I. My response to that was like, okay, great. Can we play horse now? Meaning, you know, basketball.

Kris Corbett [: 00:47:30

Yeah, there's that game, Horse. Right. Like, that's where I went right away, like, okay, okay, good. Can we play horse? No. And. But he, you know, we had already had a very in depth interview So I suspect he knew what I meant as well. Yeah, but that was like my victory moment. But upon waking up, I didn't, I just, I couldn't remember if it was successful.

Kris Corbett [: 00:47:52

So that was a whole, whole other odyssey. Like, am I better? Am I not?

Jean Tillery [: 00:48:00

So, so after that, when you woke up, you found out, you know, you realize that everything was successful.

Kris Corbett [: 00:48:09

It took me a while to wake up. They were very concerned. I was, I remember a nurse saying, you know, I have, I heard her speaking to someone, I don't know who. She's like, I don't know what's going on. I've had 80 year old patients wake up more quickly than her. And, you know, mid-40s, you know, aside from the brain issue, I was very healthy. Um, and so there was concerns because I wasn't waking up. And it took like, it took a.

Kris Corbett [: 00:48:41

I don't know how long, but it took longer than it should have. And, and I was like, I don't. When I finally did wake up, it was, it took me a long time to get oriented. And then I couldn't really speak right away. It was like I was making clicking sounds. So then I thought, oh my God, you know, was my language affected? You know, was something affected? Even though, you know, all was going well in the or, I mean, you just never know. And, you know, I know how things go in the or, so I also had that insight too. Like, you know, things are going great and then post op, they're not.

Kris Corbett [: 00:49:25

So, you know, I had that knowledge as well. So the clinical perspective was, yeah, I always say it's a blessing and a curse because you see, sometimes just know that too much, too much and then you start going down rabbit holes that you don't need to. But yeah, ultimately I, I, you know, and I remember I asked David if he'd take a video of Dr. Q finally removing it, you know, if it all went well.

Jean Tillery [: 00:49:53

Oh my gosh, you are so much. That would be me, right?

Kris Corbett [: 00:49:56

Okay. So most people were like, oh my God, no, I can't look at that. That's terrible. But it was, I watched it and it was almost like I could hear like the cork of a champagne bottle come off as, like I watched them taking it, take him taking it out. It was like a core. It was like, I think I described it in my book about like an explosion of joy. Like, yeah, I heard like a on pop. And I don't know, I switched phones.

Kris Corbett [: 00:50:27

I had to get, you know, a new phone at some point and lost that video. But I wish I still had it because it was the coolest. It was cool for me, but you know, even post op, it took me a good two years before I could even. I mean, I felt great in some ways, but my, I was like figuring out life all over again. So it wasn't this magical, wasn't a magical cure like I, I figured it would be if it was successful. It was, it was two years of confusion, some really amazing moments, some really dark times. And they do tell you not to make any major life decisions for two years.

Jean Tillery [: 00:51:17

Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 00:51:18

Following the craniotomy and you know, it was as though they had never said that to me. I was like making enormous changes left and right and it was not good. So that advice is real. But you know, after you deal with a chronic medical condition, for me at this point it was well over two decades. You and you're healthy and you wake up like eventually a different person because your body's different. So I don't think you, you don't have a choice other, other than to change who you are. I mean, it's kind of just natural. I wasn't consciously evolving, you know, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Kris Corbett [: 00:52:02

I was just changed because I didn't have this heavy burden anymore that I had to focus on. So it's like you have to refigure how you fill up all that space and time in your mind and.

Jean Tillery [: 00:52:15

Well, and I think not easy. People who have never gone through those kind of circumstances don't understand the weight of that. And whether it's you or whether, you know, if you're a caregiver for somebody else, you know, you talked about that constant need for preparation and having to anticipate. And you know, I'm, I've been dealing with some health issues that we're, you know, kind of finally getting a hold of. And a lot of what I've been battling for years, this constant state of anticipation and I don't like to say dread because it's not always necessarily bad, but you always feel like you're standing on the edge just waiting for something to happen. And my doctor finally said, you know, you've been living in this cortisone. Cort. Cortisol.

Jean Tillery [: 00:53:05

Hurricane for so long that your body just doesn't know how to, how to deal with it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:53:12

And I can relate to that.

Jean Tillery [: 00:53:14

And that's. And that a lot of my healing has come from just really understanding what that means mentally as well as physically, because that's, that's a tough, a tough place to be. And you know, I've I had a doctor tell me one time that basically I was suffering with ptsd, and I laughed, and I'm like, that's ridiculous. I mean, those are, like soldiers and, you know, emergency people. I said, you know, I don't have that. That's not me. You know, I'm. This is just life.

Jean Tillery [: 00:53:47

And I remember she looked at me and she said, well, your body doesn't know the difference.

Kris Corbett [: 00:53:53

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 00:53:54

And that's when I really started to understand that all of us, in some form or matter at one point through our life are in that situation. And, yeah, it's life, you know, but we need to accept that for what it is and understand what it does to us and give ourselves the grace or others, if you're a caregiver, to be able to work through that. Because I think part of what you see going on in the world today is so many people who have had things happen, circumstances that have been tough, but they've been dealing so long, and they've never really dealt with it.

Kris Corbett [: 00:54:39

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 00:54:41

And I think the only way for us to get through this and the change in myself, as I started to understand what kind of effect that has on my body, especially my health, has been, I would say, almost miraculous. I mean, I'm doing things I never thought I'd be able to do again. And. And I can see in your situation that that had to be. You know, you talked about being a whole new person. You really almost are. I mean, you.

Kris Corbett [: 00:55:07

I am. I do, like, I categorize my life, really. I do feel like I have. I am living two lives. There's a pre. Pre 2021 surgery and post 2021 surgery, and I am a very different person. And I always. Again, going back to basketball, my number was 21.

Kris Corbett [: 00:55:29

And, you know, my life was changed in 21, so it's pretty. It's pretty cool. But getting back to ptsd, the thing that I. I do still hold on to, that I. I still work on every day, is that fear that I'm going to resort, you know, that it's going to start all over, or, like, I can't go through another chronic illness, like, what happens when I'm older and I get another diagnosis. So I. I do. I.

Kris Corbett [: 00:56:02

I very much deal with a medical ptsd, because even if something. Okay, last week we have some outdoor cats that are really sweet, and I was trying to get one into the basement because I heard a fox nearby, and I was like, let's just go in the basement tonight. Most nights they just stay outside. And so I Grabbed him by his scruff, and he lost his mind and bit me and scratched me. And, you know, the nurse in me, I just. I went inside, I cleaned everything very well, and, you know, like, okay, it's not. It's fine. It's not a big deal.

Kris Corbett [: 00:56:42

He's got his, you know, shots, whatever. He's fine. I know he doesn't have rabies. It's okay. But really, the. The other part of me was like, oh, my God, cat scratches and bites can be so dangerous. Like, what if I get infected and I become septic? I have to stop myself from going down. Just because I lived for almost 25 years in a state of planning and worrying and taking the next step, trying a new medication, trying another treatment, whatever, that.

Kris Corbett [: 00:57:16

It's like those simple things that most people like, oh, the cat, like, scratched and it's fine. Right. But for me, I have to walk myself really backwards. Otherwise I'll just start getting in some loop. So I'm well aware that I'm still dealing with that. It's frustrating. Frustrating. But I'd rather be dealing with this than I would my.

Kris Corbett [: 00:57:41

My former medical condition. So I. I try to embrace the. The loops I go through sometimes and just try to stop them more quickly.

Jean Tillery [: 00:57:51

Well, and you know that like we said before we get on this call, I. I really believe that everything happens for a reason. So those loops, you know, give you an insight to yourself that maybe somebody else needs to hear. Yeah, I think that's something that we all need to learn. We all have our loops, whatever they may be. And one of the things that I've realized as an adult is that we all, you know, have. Have things that we're good at or things that we're concerned with or things that we like or don't like, and everybody's different. And so, you know, something that seems menial to me, like, cat scratch, you know, for somebody else is a really big deal.

Kris Corbett [: 00:58:41

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 00:58:41

Sometimes we all need to hear each other's stories so that we can understand that just because something's normal for us doesn't mean it's normal for everybody else.

Kris Corbett [: 00:58:50

Yeah, it's all about perspective, really. And it's okay. That's why I try not to minimize anyone's issues, because there were occasions where I'd be like, oh, my God, like, it's not brain surgery. Get over it. You know, I'd find myself, like, can't

Jean Tillery [: 00:59:08

say that I can.

Kris Corbett [: 00:59:10

Right. I know it's kind of. Kind of crazy, but, yeah, I've stopped doing that because what you know, as you articulated, what I have learned post op is now I overreact to. And for me it's an overreaction because I wasn't like that before. I do find myself reacting to things I. E. The cat scratch very differently. Like it could be catastrophic.

Kris Corbett [: 00:59:38

So it's taught me to really leave space for other people and why they react the way they do to certain things because I, this is new for me. So I would even judge myself. I'm like, what is your problem? Stop it. It's like not a big deal.

Jean Tillery [: 00:59:58

So how, how, how I said your kids, how have they gone through this and, and has it, you know, you, this new you?

Kris Corbett [: 01:00:09

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:00:10

How has that affected, you know, your family? What did.

Kris Corbett [: 01:00:14

That's a great question. So my, I have a daughter who's 16 and my son is 14 and then I have twin girls who are 13. And you know, it was not easy on my spouse. I was, you know, kind of a nightmare for a little while and thankfully we worked things out. But for me, I don't know, I just, I, oh, I have such a soft spot face in my heart for kids that like, even if none of my life made sense postop, you know, I questioned everything. I'm like, what is this career I have? Who are half these people in my life? I'm not sure I even like some of them. I always had this space for my kids. They always brought me, they grounded me and I know they, they probably heard and, and just, you know, I'm sure they were very confused because it, it was not easy.

Kris Corbett [: 01:01:15

And you know, for me, like I, I never wanted to give them too much information, but I did want them to understand. So I, I think I did a pretty good job of doing like age appropriate explanations. And you know, for me really, um, what has gotten me through my entire life is a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor about everything. I mean I had to switch that up a little bit because for a while it was self deprecating humor and, and that, that's not healthy. I learned that. So I shifted it more to just humor about experiences and situations and, and I made, I tried to make the same scarier moments, not, not cover them as if they were okay, but I tried to inject a little bit of humor just to make them lighter. Really.

Kris Corbett [: 01:02:13

That was a coping mechanism for me. But I also wanted the kids not to live in a high stress environment. I didn't want them to feel what I was feeling. So I, I think, and I'll, I'll have to Ask them when they're adults, like, did I shield you enough? Did I?

Jean Tillery [: 01:02:32

Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 01:02:33

Did I make it okay? I. I think I. Well, I mean, I know I did the best I could, but, you know, you never know what's going to affect your child. Four different personalities, they experience things very differently. So I would imagine it was probably hardest on my oldest because she could understand a little more when things got very serious.

Jean Tillery [: 01:03:00

Well, I love. I love that you. You said that you kind of tried to give it to them. I think as parents, we'd have a tendency of trying to just totally shield our kids. And I think part of the problem with that is then we have kids that grow up into adults that can't handle anything, because they've never really had to handle anything.

Kris Corbett [: 01:03:21

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:03:22

Especially medically. I mean, you know, sometimes stuff just happens. It's not like you did. Made a choice.

Kris Corbett [: 01:03:28

Right.

Jean Tillery [: 01:03:29

Do something that caused something to happen. Sometimes it's just in the cards. That's just the way it is. And yeah, I think there's something beautiful in the fact that you let them experience that at the level that they were able to so that they could see that sometimes you have to fight.

Kris Corbett [: 01:03:52

And, you know, when I did get home, since my surgery was out of state and then I had to stay there, so I was there probably a total of, I think, three and a half weeks. And then I. My friend flew back. We flew to her home in New Jersey, and then. And then I came home and I was like, oh, my God, what are they going to think of me? Because I was having trouble walking. My. My smile. Like I was dealing with some slight paralysis of my face.

Kris Corbett [: 01:04:25

Yeah. So I looked different, you know, I felt different. And I was embarrassed and concerned, like, because my spouse picked me up in New Jersey and then drove me back home. And I was so worried that they were going to just be, like, embarrassed and ashamed of me. And so that took some getting used to. And so I, I would let them, like, you know, I. That's kind of how I first started to inject a little humor. I'm like, oh, gosh.

Kris Corbett [: 01:04:57

Like, I. Playing kickball, I. I might. I might, you know, trip over the ball or, you know, like, so even if I'd fall, I. I, like, I would do it anyway, and then I would fall and. And just laugh. I'm like, see, I told you it was going to happen. So I.

Kris Corbett [: 01:05:14

Again with sports, I guess, is when I finally, I started getting okay with what my condition was currently. But I really worked so hard. I mean, physical therapy and Occupational therapy, like, for an injury like a shoulder or something else, I would be like, oh, God, I'll just learn the exercises at home and do it myself. But when it comes to your brain, I was not. Not screwing around, not taking it lightly. Like, I worked very hard on my fine motor skills, gross motor skills. And my girls have this. You know those plastic Barbie heads where you can do a hair? They had one.

Kris Corbett [: 01:06:04

And like, even going into the surgery, because I knew my left hand could. Could be affected, I was like. Like, the saddest thing to me was thinking that I wouldn't be able to do their hair ever again. Not like I'm some magnificent hairstylist, but something as simple as a braid. Just touching their hair and doing it. I was worried I could lose that. And so I took that damn Barbie hat. Like 5:30 in the morning every morning.

Kris Corbett [: 01:06:35

I'd start with my physical therapy at home. I had all these home things for fine skills. And then I'd end with the Barbie head. And I would. I mean, it was very messy for a while, but eventually I got that braiding back and there were all these, like, pivotal moments, like, when I could finally do, like, a perfect braid and put the ponytail holder around that braid. I was like, okay. Like, just so seeing those steps of progress, like, really, I was like, I. I'm going to recover as fully as I possibly can.

Kris Corbett [: 01:07:12

So I. I gave it my all. And, you know, for whatever reason, I. I know people. Some people can't or don't, or some people don't. You know, they're. They're not given the gift of being able to. You know, things don't turn out so well.

Kris Corbett [: 01:07:29

So I. I knew I was so lucky. Every more I knew it, I was like, I've got to work so hard to invest in this gift I've been given because I know, I know a lot of people don't even have it.

Jean Tillery [: 01:07:44

Wow. Beautiful. And what a beautiful lesson for your girls. Well, all your kids, that something as simple as doing their hair as a mom was important enough to you to work that hard.

Kris Corbett [: 01:07:59

Yeah, there's something about that physical, you know, physical touch and connection because you're usually talking while doing it. And there's just something very maternal about that that I was not prepared to lose. So I made sure I didn't and, you know, thankfully have the ability to make it happen.

Jean Tillery [: 01:08:21

So on your website. And I pulled it up because I wanted to use the exact terms because when I had flipped through there. And again, I say I don't go into These interviews, doing a lot of research because I want to see what comes about just kind of natively.

Kris Corbett [: 01:08:38

Yeah, I like that authenticity of you,

Jean Tillery [: 01:08:41

but I just had to. I was fascinated by your website and so I had to go take a look. And on the front page it says, a gentle spirit space for people who have overcome the seemingly impossible circumstances that life has thrown at you. And before we got started, before we hit record, we were talking about a lot of those and. And they're not seemingly impossible, but they are just life's irritations that are continually bombarding us. But still, I think we all have impossible circumstances too, that life throws at us.

Kris Corbett [: 01:09:23

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:09:23

And I'm just, I'm. I. That just really hits me thinking about that. So what is your website for? What's the space for? How can people take advantage?

Kris Corbett [: 01:09:36

Yeah, I have to give a plug to the. The woman who helped design it, Blair Brown, she really is fantastic and has this extraordinary way of capturing your thoughts and your work and your ideas and. And so I originally did it because they say every author needs a website. And I was like, oh, well, I'm definitely not building my own. And through my publisher, I was introduced to Blair and we decided it was just really going to be an author site. But I, I didn't. It's not like I'm a very sophisticated public speaker, but I enjoy talking to people. I enjoy love communicating, learning and sharing and just, you know.

Kris Corbett [: 01:10:26

Yeah, really just. I, I don't. Speaking in public is comfortable to me. So then she's like, well, let's incorporate that, you know, so you have opportunities to do so. And so really it's just a landing page for. Because I've done poetry too, so it was just a place where all of it could be in one spot space. My book, my poetry chapbook, and the opportunity, if, you know, any speaking events came up. It was just all one place to collect everything and go to.

Kris Corbett [: 01:10:58

But I really needed basketball to be in there too. So I love how she created the image of me because that is actually me. I sent her a picture. I was like, how about you just light it out? And so it just. And really, I don't, you know, websites, you know, who knows how often they're used. I don't track any of the visits or anything, but it. Even if there's not a lot of traffic, it's there for me. It's a great reminder of what I am, what I've gone through, who I've become.

Kris Corbett [: 01:11:32

And if it can help one person, great. If so, it Just kind of. It's just there. And.

Jean Tillery [: 01:11:39

Well, and that's like, you know, I've

Kris Corbett [: 01:11:41

gotten connected through to some people and have done some events through, so it's been. It has been. It's already. It's already paid off. But if nothing else comes of it, it's. It's still. It's there for me.

Jean Tillery [: 01:11:53

Yeah. Well, and that's what I think attracted me to that, is because I think so many of us need that space.

Kris Corbett [: 01:12:00

Mm.

Jean Tillery [: 01:12:02

And you, after everything that you've gone through and everything that you've battled and how far you fought and how hard you've worked, it's a great vision for somebody who's going through that to say, you know, these impossible circumstances, I can get through it. Chris got through it.

Kris Corbett [: 01:12:21

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:12:22

You know, and. And

Kris Corbett [: 01:12:25

that's what I always say. Like, you know, if there's nothing spectacular about me, it's just that really, I think for me, what got me through it was I refused to be a victim, and I used humor as a coping mechanism. And I just, you know, the athlete in me refused to lose. I just wouldn't let myself lose. I kept showing up because losing wasn't. I wasn't good at it, at least in sports. So it carried over into life.

Jean Tillery [: 01:12:55

Well, it's funny because I. In my mind, I'm like, going, okay, so what closing statement could you give that kind of touches all of that? And I think that was perfect. I refuse to be a victim, and I choose not to. I choose to have humor because that's what makes it bearable. And I refuse to lose.

Kris Corbett [: 01:13:17

Yeah. I mean, really, that is. Those are. That is the summary of how. How I got to the other side of all the difficulties.

Jean Tillery [: 01:13:26

Okay, well, as we close, give me a little information about the book. Tell me where everybody can go to find it and what they'll get from it, and then what's on the horizon for you?

Kris Corbett [: 01:13:41

Yeah, sure. So the foundation of the book was. Were the journals I kept over the years, particularly after the 2021 brain surgery. And. And from that journal, I. I go back to grammar school again. My. My great teachers, I started, like, just using those journals and creating.

Kris Corbett [: 01:14:06

Just writing all these poems, just spitting out all these poems. And I was working with a. A freelance editor who was just incredible. And she had long time ago studied under a Pulitz winning poet. And so I asked her to be my developmental editor when I decided I was going to turn these poems into a book. And she's like, well, let me see your poems. Can I. I was like, yeah, of course, sure.

Kris Corbett [: 01:14:32

And she, she picked out, I think it's 25. And she, you know, she gave me some feedback and she's like, I really think you need to try to get these published. And I had never in a million years even thought about it. And so I reached out to a few publishers and, and so eventually Bottle Cap Press picked up the poems. And it's called, that's called Peaced Together, but it's Play on Words, it's P, E A C E D together. And that kind of helped me get back on my path to figuring out who I was. And then after that happened, I was like, I really, I really, I gotta get more serious about this book because, you know, I, I think I got through all this for some reason bigger than myself. And if somebody can help somebody, because there are a lot of other parts of the book.

Kris Corbett [: 01:15:29

It's not just focused on brain surgery. I mean, I've had other wild experiences that left significant scars or battle wounds, if you will, that I've also gotten through. And so, God, I think I changed the title probably 10 times and ultimately settled on Bravely Bleeding. So, yeah, I just, I really, the title just stuck with me. And so it is, it's available on Amazon, Barnes and all your Barnes and Noble big box retailers online. And I've done some speaking engagements with it, gone to some medical conferences with it. So it's been really cool. And you know, some of that, I've done some patient advocacy work with it and just really, it, it's, it's done some things that I'm very surprised by and I'm very grateful that I had the ability to write.

Kris Corbett [: 01:16:37

That's always been kind of one of my, my secret gifts that I decided to actually push through and write it even when I wanted to quit because it got really difficult sometimes revisiting, yeah, everything and working through it and, and my publisher, Kim Ely, she, she had a brilliant idea to do verbal edits because it had been developmentally, you know, developed pretty well, like everything was cohesive, but so she said, let's do verbal edits. So like, I would read some paragraphs, she would read some paragraphs, and we'd change things as we spoke. And I thought that was the coolest approach because I would read things out loud. I'm like, no, I would never say it like that. And so then I'd change it and. But some paragraphs would be, particularly when it came to my kids, I would be crying so hard. That Kim, just so sweet. She'd just Naturally take over.

Kris Corbett [: 01:17:49

And then she'd read and I'd listen. And it really made the book so much better because when you hear it out loud, I'm like, no, that's. That's not my voice. Let me fix that. And so I think that's a really cool way to edit that I had never even thought about before. So really, the whole process of writing the book and getting it out there and just seeing, like, because, you know, how many people are like, oh, I should write a book. Right. And then how many people actually do the statistics very low.

Kris Corbett [: 01:18:25

So even, you know, I was like, like, okay, I'm not getting published by the big five. That's okay. You know, this is likely not going to be a bestseller. That's okay. I'm doing it and I did it. And so now I just encourage other people, like, I mean, because they'll. They'll say, I've really thought about writing a memoir, but, you know, their gift may not necessarily be writing. I'm like, just go ahead and get your words on paper.

Kris Corbett [: 01:18:54

And there's plenty of people out there who are willing to help you turn it into something that can be read by others. Because I think that I do love to just drown in fiction sometimes, but then the nonfiction just. Especially in this new world of AI and sometimes not knowing what's real or.

Jean Tillery [: 01:19:21

Yeah.

Kris Corbett [: 01:19:21

Or whatever, you know, like, people's stories are. Are always gonna be touching and transforming. And I think we. We need to keep doing that, just hearing other people's stories and learning.

Jean Tillery [: 01:19:35

Well, the one thing you will learn about me is my favorite line is it's all about the story. The whole. This whole podcast started just because I love people's stories. And I. I realized that there will never be any kind of world where we all get along until we understand that everyone has a story and it's not the same story as ours and that their story is important. And until we have the story and understand their story, it's just. It's not going to work because, you know, you can't go through life with only what you see and understand.

Kris Corbett [: 01:20:15

Right.

Jean Tillery [: 01:20:15

And be able to. And, you know, I look at things that, you know, with kids growing up now, things like bullying and, you know, addictions and, you know, self destruction. So much of that is because, you know, people are afraid to be themselves.

Kris Corbett [: 01:20:33

Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:20:33

And they're afraid to let people know who they are. But if we can normalize telling stories

Kris Corbett [: 01:20:40

about ourselves, why, I ultimately decided to go ahead and go for it, because I was like, I don't know if I want to put myself out there like that, but, you know, I grew up with my grandparents, and that generation didn't share a whole lot. Everything was fine, allegedly. Yeah, right. And, you know, everything was, like, tight and proper, and I was just like, screw it. I'm, like, going to be generationally disruptive because, like, people need to know that everything is not okay. And I am gonna be brave enough to share that. Much of my life was not okay yet I still persevered. And you can, too, and you came

Jean Tillery [: 01:21:25

out of it beautifully.

Kris Corbett [: 01:21:27

Yeah, I did even better. Even better. Yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:21:30

Well, thank you. This was. And I love this because people say, well, how long are it? And I said, well, you know, I plan an hour and a half, but, you know, they usually run about 25 minutes to 45 minutes until we get a good story and. And then it goes longer. So I appreciate you taking the time to lead through this because you do have a wonderful story and it is so invigorating and exciting to see everything that you've done when I, you know, I know how you must have felt, you know, pre 2021, scary that must have been. And, and whether you could imagine yourself then where you are now.

Kris Corbett [: 01:22:11

Definitely not. No. Just strictly. I may have nothing else, like, strictly based on energy levels. I had to give everything to my family and my job to, you know, helped support them. So I didn't have a lot left over for me or a creative outlet or, you know, even to coach. I. I didn't, I didn't have it.

Kris Corbett [: 01:22:36

And now I. Oh, wow. It's like, even though, you know, you're never fully. I mean, either post brain surgery, your, your energy levels or, you know, I'm never going to be running around handling like my spouse has the energy of, you know, a five year old sometimes, like, that's never going to be me. But the energy I do have, it's. It feels so abundant because I didn't have a lot, a lot left over before. So now the energy I do have is, is. It's amazing.

Kris Corbett [: 01:23:14

For me, that's why people are like, oh, you're 50. I'm like, I know, but I feel like, like I'm 25 and I feel like it's because I really did not necessarily lose 25 years, but medically, that, that took its toll. And now. So now I do. I kind of feel younger because I have, I have more energy.

Jean Tillery [: 01:23:37

Yeah. Well, and you've got an amazing life ahead of you, too.

Kris Corbett [: 01:23:42

I do, yeah.

Jean Tillery [: 01:23:43

Which is a different perspective than were you before and.

Kris Corbett [: 01:23:46

Yeah. Which now when my kids are a little older. You did ask what my, my next project might be. And I really do feel like I, I have some ideas and I'd like to try writing fiction. And so I asked my publisher. I'm like, what do you think? Like, I know, like shifting from non fiction to fiction. Like not every. It's, you know, maybe that's not my area.

Kris Corbett [: 01:24:12

Maybe that's not something I'll be good at. And. And she encouraged me to attempt it when I'm ready because. And she, And I was very careful in my memoir about. I, I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I wanted to be honest, but I didn't want to be hurtful. And so I, I crafted things very carefully. And so what was cool is she's like, you, you don't have you with fiction.

Kris Corbett [: 01:24:35

She's like, you're not going to have, you're going to be even greater because you won't have to worry about feelings and people being identified, etc. She's like, your imagination can run wild and that will be great for you. So I, I will give that a shot. Right now I have four teenagers that I choose to invest in. So when my time frees up a little more. Yeah. Think. Go get fiction a shot.

Jean Tillery [: 01:25:03

That's great. I love it. And it's funny because I've had that same thought. You know, I've done several books and writing nonfiction, to me seems easy because it's just, you know, you're.

Kris Corbett [: 01:25:14

Yeah, right.

Jean Tillery [: 01:25:15

You're writing, you know, you're just putting down what's in your head. It makes sense, the concept. When I, especially when I. Because I love to read and I'll read these stories that have all these characters and all these through lines. And you're like going, I can't imagine what it must have taken to come up with this end. And how do you start here and how do, you know, keep track of all that. That I'm like, I couldn't imagine. And, and then the other thing with me is I see things.

Jean Tillery [: 01:25:41

I'm very visual. So I decided maybe I'd be better off writing like a screenplay because I can watch. I could do a movie in my head and just write down what I'm seeing in my head. So I don't know, it'll. It'll be great. We'll have to check back in.

Kris Corbett [: 01:25:56

Yeah. Because I, I talk about that in Bravely Bleeding, how I often viewed my, my life as a movie. And so I do feel like I, I'VE written in scenes. It's like scenes of a movie. So I. I can definitely relate to the visual component of that. So. Yeah, that would be exciting.

Jean Tillery [: 01:26:16

We'll see. Yeah. And we'll have to follow up with everybody then after the next step. But in the meantime, thank you again.

Kris Corbett [: 01:26:23

Thank you for having me. This is great.

Jean Tillery [: 01:26:25

So much fun and loved learning about you. And I can't wait to get the book. And I will let you know when this all comes out so you can share it, but I am.

Kris Corbett [: 01:26:35

Oh, and people feel free to leave reviews, too, particularly on Amazon. You know, the visibility there.

Jean Tillery [: 01:26:43

Oh, yes, definitely. We'll do that. And we will promote that, too. So thank you again, my dear. And. All right.

Kris Corbett [: 01:26:50

Thank you, Jean.

Jean Tillery [: 01:26:51

You know, there were so many different directions that I could have taken after this conversation. We talked about sports, we talked about nursing, we talked about motherhood. We talked about brain surgery. But what stayed with me wasn't any one of the topics. It was the mindset. Over and over again, Chris came back to that same idea. She refused to let her circumstances decide who she would become. She didn't pretend that things were easy.

Jean Tillery [: 01:27:21

She didn't deny the fear. She didn't avoid the hard parts. She just kept showing up. And I think that's the lesson that all of us need right now. Because most of us aren't facing brain surgery, but every single one of us is facing something. A challenge, a disappointment, a loss, a dream that feels impossible, a season that feels heavier than we would like. And that's where today's epic message comes in. Your circumstances may shape your story, but they do not get to write the ending.

Jean Tillery [: 01:27:58

Life has a way of handing us chapters that we would never have chosen. Illness, loss, fear, disappointment, uncertainty. And while we may not get to choose what happens to us, we always get to choose how we respond. Chris spent years preparing for the next crisis. Years wondering what might happen tomorrow. Years carrying burdens that most people never see. Yet through it all, she kept moving forward. Not because she wasn't afraid, but because she refused to surrender her future to fear.

Jean Tillery [: 01:28:35

Sometimes courage isn't a giant leap. Sometimes courage is simply showing up again tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. The people who inspire us most are really the people who have had easy lives. They're the people who kept going when quitting would have been easier. That's where the story is written. This week's epic challenge. Think about one challenge that you're facing, one struggle or circumstance that you've been allowing to define you. Write down two answers.

Jean Tillery [: 01:29:12

Number one what happened to me? And number two who am I choosing to become because of it? Keep that note where you see it this week on your desk, on your bathroom mirror every day. Remind yourself your circumstances may shape your story, but they don't get to write the ending. A huge thank you to Chris for sharing her story, her wisdom and her hard earned perspective. What I love the most about conversations like this is that they remind us that strength doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes strength looks like showing up. Sometimes strength looks like asking for help. Sometimes strength looks like learning how to laugh again and to make jokes again. And sometimes strength looks like refusing to lose.

Jean Tillery [: 01:30:08

If today's episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who may need that reminder. And if you enjoy this conversation, be sure to check out some of our previous episodes where we explore resilience, purpose, healing, and the power of living intentionally. Because every person you meet, every moment has a story, every challenge has a lesson, and every chapter has the potential of becoming something meaningful. And remember, like I always say, it's all about the story. Thanks for hanging out with me. If today's episode struck a chord with you and you want to spread the love, please share using the hashtag epiclivingpodcast and leave a comment on my Facebook page. Head over to my website epiclivingwithjean.com to learn more about what it means to live epic. And while you're there, download a free guide, 7 Ways to Start Living Epic, and it will help you take your first step.

Jean Tillery [: 01:31:05

If you want to learn more about my Dream Manager program or just want to chat about what EPIC might look like in your life, reach out to me and let's set up a call. See you next time. I hope you go out and live EPIC today and every day and remember, it's all about the story.